A Midwinter's Night Dream - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St Ives

Helen Bristol

04 January 2003 15:03

Change of fortunes

Its doing an In the Bleak Midwinter thingy. Still makes a change from rain. Think I'll go and hibernate. Days are getting longer.

Big Mac's No.1 son Even Bigger Mac (at 6ft 6ins) just got back from Tallin where it was -19C brass monkey weather.

So it'll be kitchen knives at dawn then?

Helling

Vile Jelly

04 January 2003 16:13

I suppose so, although to be honest I prefer to get there slightly earlier on the principle that he who stabs first stabs longest!

Off to the slave pits now, for another relaxing Saturday night.

Helen Bristol

04 January 2003 16:56

Could be the night of the longest knives. No, I don't think we'll go there.....

Poor you, having to work on a Saturday! I'll just put my feet up and carry on cycling around France with Tim Moore ( French Revolutions) Done my bit - unloading the dishwasher.

Hope you don't have to slave too hard.

Vile Jelly

04 January 2003 21:23

I didn't. Fortunately it was fairly quiet because I am full of some nasty bug which, on top of all the hours I've worked in the last fortnight, has left me as flat as a plaice that has been sat on by an elephant!

Will try to cudgel my wits into responding to whatever cryptic quip Big Mac has put in his e-mail then it's off to bed.

Nighty night.

Helen Bristol

05 January 2003 17:27

What' s the matter with you man? Where's that stiff upper lip? The steel in your spine that put the Great in Great Bri....... oh, never mind.

Sleep well? Pleasant dreams?

Sorry to hear you're feeling deflated. Still, now the festive rush is over you'll be able to take it easy? If a plaice is in the sea how DOES it get sat on by an elephant? Maybe its a plaice by the sea.

Back to the grind tomorrow which I'm anticipating with all the enthusiasm of a turkey before xmas.

Brilliant weather today - blue sky, cold but ok if you kept walking. Put some colour back into Big Mac's cheeks.

Hang in there, you'll soon be feeling your old self again with Soupie to minister to you.

Vile Jelly

05 January 2003 17:51

Stiff upper lip? The only stiff thing I've got ..... is my back which is going ballistic I presume as a result of spending most of the holiday season on my feet. Still, it takes my mind off the cold.

Anyway, surely you've heard of elephant seals? Hence, the flatness of the plaice!

Glad to here you took Big Mac for a walk (hope you took some plastic bags to clean up after him), he seems to be spending far too much time finding weird websites the like of which not even god has seen before.

Good luck on your return to your slave pits but I'm afraid I can spare little symphony for you as I need to save it for myself whose long labours over crimbo have been rewarded with a breakfast split tomorrow. Great way to unwind and recharge the batteries, eh?

Helen Bristol

05 January 2003 18:42

Best to take your mind off things - was it ever on?

Of course, hadn't thought of them, silly me. Are they related to Alfie?

Big Mac is back to "work" tomorrow as well, like taking the coupe to get something-or-other mended. Anyway a man's got to have a hobby. For some people its footie, others darts, or embroidery, YOU might not want to go where no man has gone before and find life (but not as we know it, Jim) in them there websites, but BM .........................

Another early night then? Sweet dreams!

Vile Jelly

05 January 2003 19:41

Mind? Not so much never on as never there.

Sleep is singing her siren call yet again. If I could only get 24 hours of sleep a day I'm sure I'd be a much nicer person.

So, I shall retire to my bed and dream of sheep ...

... and hedgehogs ...

... and dragons ...

... and flat people ...

... and snakes ...

... and ...

... lie awake all night worrying about all those mouths I've got to feed!

And so to bed.

Helen Bristol

06 January 2003 18:32

It's not that I don't like my work - I just get fed up with other people not having the same agenda as me, surely they can't be that incompetent? (which the other option). I was really enjoying being able to lounge about.

How's the cold? 's freezing again here today.

Vile Jelly

06 January 2003 22:01

Hell, you try having meaningful work-related conversations with some of the imbeciles that get hired as bar staff! With most of them incompetence comes as standard!

My cold seems to be finally dissipating. The general cold continues to stalk St Ives, whipped into an icy frenzy by a pretty spiteful wind. The poor Sonics have gone blue so I think I'd better turn up the central heating.

Helen Bristol

07 January 2003 18:10

Where's that team spirit? you're not supposed to slag off your work mates like that.....but on second thoughts - know what you mean. Doesn't only apply to bar staff (I hope none of my work mates have discovered SSI) Still I s'pose I could always get a job in a bar. It would a relief if I was supposed to be incompetent instead of pretending that really I'm quite bright.

Had one of those days when the best laid plans went awol. Still, tomorrow's another day.

Maybe I haven't quite got my head round this but aren't they always blue? Shouldn't you be using some other cold-indicator like........ um, oh, er, sorry, brain's having a night off. Think I'll go and lie down in a darkened room for a bit

Vile Jelly

08 January 2003 08:17

Hm, that's true. I had a panicky knee-jerk reaction there. Maybe I should find some other way of determining if the Sonics are warm enough.

I know ..... I'll ask them!

And there was I accusing the bar staff of being dim.

Good luck with tomorrow/today, personally I always found that when I got there I usually discovered that yesterday all my troubles had seemed to far away.

Off to t' School of Mines now. I think it's soup this week. How appropriate!

Helen Bristol

08 January 2003 21:17

Communication is everything!

Is there such a thing as a Sonic thermometer?

Not so necessarily, feel more like the Fool on the Hill sometimes. Today no better!!!!

Doing Duck Soup tomorrow, that'll be fun

Big Mac has offered to cook tomorrow night so who am I to resist such an offer? Not the duck soup so we'll be waltzing around the kitchen or possibly even a tango.

The thing I really loath is the politics of the job, I really don't give a shit about all the innuendo, infighting etc, never have, never will, it's too complicated for the likes of I. Me, a simple soul, ??????

Good luck at soup skool, what does Soupie think about that?

Vile Jelly

08 January 2003 21:35

A Sonic Thermometer? If there isn't such a thing it would be a damn fine think to invent. I know Doctor Who used to have a Sonic Screwdriver which frequently proved useful.

Never had much luck with duck soup myself. The buggers would just bob around the top of the pan like avian croutons and then flap off when it started getting warm. Hope you have more success.

Soupie is quite impressed that I have decided to learn basic soup mining although I don't think she expects me to be able to master the really deep stuff. I shall just muddle about in the shallows of basic broths and leave the consommés, bisques and borscht to the expert. Of course, she has the advantage of being a dragon and can easily tunnel down to the boiling magma of pure soups.

Still, she is giving me a few tips the results of which may yet be made public!

PS. As for work all I can suggest is; don't let the bastards grind you down, attack them with a bosch power sander and grind them down first!

Helen Bristol

09 January 2003 18:22

The secret, of course, is to keep the lid on the pan. When they try to fly away they knock themselves out and then Bob's yer uncle. It turned out more like a hearty broth which was v. good if a little on the greasy side.

Well, let's face it, she's had years of experience. A mere slip of a lad like you really can't compete. Though I'm sure your efforts will pass muster.

Nearly all our snow has gone now. I had sort of hoped that we might be cut off and I could stay at home. Even brought some paperwork back just in case. Oh the dedication.

Interesting day today, looking at remodelling the inside of properties for wheelchair users. I think I need a crash course in building regs. and design and scale drawings. Probably not as interesting as soup mining though.

I'm not used to being let off kitchen duties mid-week so am at a bit of a loss as to what to do with my time, apart from chatting with you. S'pose I could wield a vacuum cleaner for a while - that should kill 5 minutes.

Vile Jelly

09 January 2003 19:25

Ah, I hadn't thought of that. Mind you, that's probably because we don't have ducks around here, just seagulls. And those buggers would whip the lid off and smack you with it before you even had time to say 'aaaaaagh'.

Of course, Soupie doesn't have to do any of that tedious cooking stuff as she can just mine seams of pure soup ore. Still, she has kindly given me some help with SSI's latest feature. Tune into the next update (tomorrow hopefully).

PS. Bob was my dad actually, Richard was my uncle.

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