Habeas Corpus - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Andrew Macdonald [continued from Curiouser And Curiouser ]

02 July 2003 20:00

Re: Competition

Oh, yes. So she is.

Still, you must be snowed under with the entry by now.

Vile Jelly

02 July 2003 21:28

I think it must have been held up in the post.

Leaves on the line probably.

PS. Was up t'pottery today having a natter with Trevor. He said the authorities have dug up a load of dead bodies in your garden or some such. Weren't East Angular invading emmets were they?

Andrew Macdonald

03 July 2003 10:01

More likely wrong sort of rain.

Our lips are sealed on the subject of the d**d b****s in the g****n. Could have been an abortive escape attempt, I suppose.

Vile Jelly

03 July 2003 11:45

Do you reckon they were they trying to get into or out of East Angular?

Perhaps you could e-mail some to Winwaloe and see if he's any good at resurrections!

Andrew Macdonald

30 June 2003 09:31

Dunno, they haven't said a lot so far.

Vile Jelly

04 July 2003 15:34

Well, you should set Helling on them. She'd soon tell those skellingtons to stop lying around and pull themselves together!

Perhaps you could sell them to your nearly-namesake Mcdonalds or have they still got too much meat content to go in the burgers?

Andrew Macdonald

04 July 2003 17:34

Spooky, that. I replied to your last electric mail three days before you sent it, but time appears to have straightened itself out now, so all is well(ish).

Don't know about the meat content, but they've certainly got far too much nutritional value.

Vile Jelly

04 July 2003 21:19

It's probably the time dilation effect caused when the e-mail crosses the Tamar and emerges into the 21st century!

Andrew Macdonald

05 July 2003 10:45

Thank you for that. It all makes sense now.

I noticed in the Grauniad this morning that HRH the Price of Whales, not content with having inflicted Poundbury on the good people of Dorchester, is doing the same thing in St Ossle. Now I know a) that it is in his back garden, and b) what your views about St Ossle are, but would you wish that on your worst enemy? I think you should do something before it's too late.

PS Any winners, whiners, whingers or winwaloes yet? If not I shall award the prize to one's self.

Vile Jelly

05 July 2003 18:42

Chas? The Duck of Cornwall?

I assure you the character is as mythical as one of Winwaloe's fevered imaginations.

Or to put both into perspective ..... I live down here and I've never seen either.

Still, if you insist that it is real (and you do live in the real world) then we can only hope that Chuck builds his organic whatever on the site of the (hopefully) very recently demolished St Awful brewery!

PS. No sign of any winners (or, in deed, entrants, yet). Nevertheless, the millennium is still young.

PPS. You do know that the promoter (i.e. the Reporting Team) are on a Camelot deal and are entitled to subtract their 'perfectly reasonable' salaries from any prize fund ..... before said 'IOU' (or should that be a UOMe?) is presented to the unlucky winner.

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