Annal Retentive? - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Helen Bristol

06 July 2003 12:40

Re: SSI

You know, I really admire a bloke who, in the face of such adversity, can still smile and be cheerful...................however there does seem to be an unhealthy tendancy towards annal fixation - I'm sure someone, somewhere had a theory about that - probably just as unhealthy!

Vile Jelly

06 July 2003 16:47

Well, as a history graduate I can justifiably claim to have a not unreasonable interest in annals. I can assure you that they are actually quite healthy, especially from the point of mental stimulation.

If you are interested I recommend the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle as a good starting point. It has all sorts of good news stories, the latest on Lady Godiva, 'burnt cakes-gate' and the late racing results from Winchester.

Helen Bristol

06 July 2003 20:00

Thanks, library's closed, 'tis Sunday after all, ( we are in rural East Angular) Wot about Boudica (or however she now wants her name spelled) Kett and Walsingham?

Thought I might re-read "Aberystwyth Mon Amour" (if I can find it) you haven't? you should! Raymond Chandler eat your heart out.

Vile Jelly

07 July 2003 09:15

Hell, it must be good if it's better than Chandler, the only author I am aware of to write a 'whodunnit' (The Big Sleep, I think) where even he had to admit that halfway through writing it even he still had no idea whodunnit!

Helen Bristol

07 July 2003 16:39

Didn't say it was good - just a good spoof. Couldn't find it. Was going to read The French Lieutenant's Woman but fell asleep - does not bode well. P'r'aps I'll try something more gripping like Teach Yourself Sumo.

Have you finished/achieved your NVQ yet? The assessor idea has died a death and I'm now supervising juniors and planning training for support staff..........that's when I'm not managing the dept, dealing with students,etc, etc, and being an all-round -nice-person ( you know all about that)

Vile Jelly

07 July 2003 21:58

Actually, Teach Yourself Sumo isn't a bad book if you are feeling a little self-indulgent. Mainly because Chapter One concentrates on how to bulk yourself up to the right proportions. Beer and steaks in large quantities work just fine.

I finished the NVQ last month. Not sure what happens next, remind me to ring up the School of Mines some time and enquire.

PS. If you want my top tip, the best way to organise training, etc. for other people is to imbibe alcohol, plan it in five minutes off the top of your head and laugh evilly when they are sent on wholly inappropriate courses in in accessible locations at the most inconvenient of times. That's how the company I used to work for before emigrating used to do it.

PPS. Things could be worse. You could be clad in lederhosen, stuffed with bratwurst, bloated with lager and forced to endure 101 Greatest Bavarian Drinking Songs like youknowwho!

Helen Bristol

08 July 2003 07:56

Yup, finished Chapter One, pity I'd just finished a four course meal, though I'm not really into "bulking up" despite what the RT said.

I found the "What to Wear" section in Chapter Two fascinating and will be busy with the sewing machine when I get back from t'ospital this evening. What a surprise for BM when he gets back from the Continent.

I've mapped out a 'Ring' on the patio (as we laughingly call the paved patch in the back garden) and have been practising the "Stance".....its a bit tough on the thighs.

I'll keep you posted as to progress.

PS don't forget to ring t'Skool of Mines

Vile Jelly

08 July 2003 18:28

Ah, but have you mastered (mistressed, I don't want to be thought sexist) the salt shaking thing?

Does my head in ..... whereas the underwear does my whatsits in!

Let's face it, I've got the physique but I just haven't got the right attitude. Maybe I should re-visit my old Shogun videos.

Helen Bristol

09 July 2003 10:34

Although I objected to being called a girly-bloke, "mastered" is fine by me, in the same way that I am quite happy to be a "chairman". I do, however dislike being referred to as a piece of furniture. How could anyone even think of you as sexist?

About the salt. It really should be too much of a problem if you've spent the previous evening "bulking up" on Doom Bar. Not only does your head in but results in a fine tremor.

The videos might help but what about the hairdos?

If you combined viewing the Shogun vids with Watermargin (OK I know that wasn't Japan) you might begin to get an inkling about attitude.

PS What did t' SoM say?

PPS Just love the spellcheck suggestions.

Vile Jelly

09 July 2003 16:28

I have been slaving in the slave pits all week (and I know better then to try and get anything out of educational establishments at this time of day).

I will let you if I've got my Licence To Kill as soon as I hear anything.

How's BM getting on with the Sausage-guzzling surrender monkeys?

Helen Bristol

10 July 2003 17:41

From what he says it was pizzas and spag - I say nuuthing, Mr. Fawlty. He had expected to get back here at about midnight Tues/Wed but you can drive faster over there so was home by 1830hrs.

Brain not in gear due to high humidity, work and generally not being in gear.

So will it be "the name's Jelly, Vile Jelly but you can call me 000"?

Vile Jelly

10 July 2003 18:08

S'funny.

Day off, at last. Been walking and (latterly) supping. Brain not working either due to fatigue and Eden Ale (with a side order of Flowers IPA).

Since neither of us has a functioning cerebellum does that make us 'Jawdge and Toeknee'?

Helen Bristol

11 July 2003 08:30

But taking your (and I hope my) culinary skills into account , could be Tony and Giorgio (I wish!) Not much more cerebral (my cerebellum carries on without me) activity this a.m. but not under the influence of Eden , IPA, etc. but it was a very nice white from the Antipodes I think. Rather, I'm exhausted from Le Tour and we haven't even reached a little hill yet.

Vile Jelly

11 July 2003 09:04

Good grief, I didn't realise you'd entered it.

Are you going for the yellow jersey outright or would you prefer the one with pink polka dots (whatever you win that for)?

Anyway good luck and keep peddling.

Helen Bristol

11 July 2003 17:40

Yellow doesn't suit me so I'll forgo that. Not really bothered about winning anything ..............its the lycra shorts...........especially the pink ones. Off to t'gym now to warm up for tonight's stage.

Vile Jelly

11 July 2003 18:04

Oh, I was hoping you were intending to compete in the traditional 'beret, stripey shirt and strings of onions' motif!

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