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Helen Bristol 26 July 2003 19:15 thoughts from the orient
I've just been making some tzadziki. In your capacity as cookmeister you
could advise me on the best way to hold a peeled cucumber will grating it so
that I don't end up with pink tzadziki. Carefully spring to mind.
Any thoughts..............?
Braved Ipswich this afternoon, BM needing yet more clothes. He's
dead chuffed as we found an old fashioned Gentleman's Outfitter with masses of
assistants, some of whom reminded us of Grace Brothers/Suits You Sir. There's
even a Ladies' Outfitters on the 1st floor, not that I'm prepared to part with
a month's salary for a blouse. Now tell me, why are women's
clothes relatively costlier that men's? BM got some shirts that were
less than the price of a pub lunch (Sloop excepted).
Also spent a happy half hour peeling brown shrimps. Guess where CM
was........................right, at my feet waiting for the merest slip of my
hand as I put shells/skins into one bowl and naked shrimps into another. god,
we know how to live out here............Saturday afternoon shopping then
home to peel shrimps.
I'll have to go and lie down now to recover from the excitement
Vile Jelly 27 July 2003 08:38
The safest way to avoid injury while grating peeled cucumber is to get someone
else to do it. And you thought you'd run out of uses for BM!
Can't answer the clothes question, though. Possible explanations might be: (1)
women's clothes are harder to make because you're more irregularly-shaped, (2)
women's clothes have more expensive ingredients because you're such demanding
customers or (3) you're getting ripped off for being slaves to fashion. To be
honest, haute couture is not a particular field of expertise for me.
I can't afford clothes of any denomination so the problem doesn't really
affect me. Instead I am concentrating on trying to grow my own fur/scales/etc.
like the RT!
Helen Bristol 28 July 2003 21:07
No, no, his uses are infinite.............and my imagination.........we-ell!
(Anyway, he's more accident-prone than you)
Re clothing - looking at some of the males of the species (present
company excepted, I think) I cannot agree with your suggestion
that women are more irregularly shaped. But then I'm looking at them with
a feminine eye. I know you can't all be Adonises.
We do a nice line in wode here - would you be interested?
Even when I was subsisting on my paltry grant I managed to afford a few
rags to put on my back ............but then I guess you were probably nobly
supporting CAMRA?
BM off with the germans again..................(dare I say it?) in
Brighton..........
CM's trying to initiate me into the mysteries of reading-the-entrails. He
keeps leaving little test pieces on the mat.......this week sems to be mostly
The Kidneys of Small Furry Mammals, god knows what they mean. Do
your fleabags do this or have they given up on you? Perhaps he's gone
off Felix......I know he much prefers fillet steak, offal, in fact almost
anything raw, and brown shrimps. All of which are probably better for
him than the tinned stuff.
Well, another day another euro, 'cept I didn't get my payrise 'cos HR cocked
up again. No blame culture in the NHS?.............you have to be
joking! - please?
Vile Jelly 29 July 2003 10:01
Maybe. But I still think women's clothing must be more irregularly shaped
because it never seems to fit me!
Our fleabags used to bring dead creatures of various denominations in back
when the wrinklies lived in the frozen north but seem to have given up down
here (possibly because a St. Ives seagull is a slightly different proposition
from a sparrer!). Perhaps CM is thoughtfully bringing you these titbits so
you've got something to nibble on while he tucks into your steak.
PS. Didn't quite understand the last bit. Please explain 'rise', oh, and
'pay'.
I thought you all worked in the NHS for the love of the human race and now
you're telling me you are creaming off our hard paid taxes! Tsk, tsk, holding
ill people hostage for your own personal gain. Next you'll be going on strike
because someone asked you to clock in to account for your working hours!
I think you should all be put on the St. Ives Tourism Workers Employment
Scheme; i.e. no contract, minimal pay, no guarantee there'll be a job next
week let alone next month. Give the BA Baggage Maulers a week down here in the
Slave Pits and then they'll know what cruel and unusual working practices are!
Helen Bristol 29 July 2003 17:10
You're just irregularly shaped in different places.
Gave up working for love years ago. Some of the Human Race are very hard
to even like, let alone love. The rate at which people are being booted
out of hospital belies the idea that anyone is held hostage, sort of released
prior to being taken captive.
Come, come, Paul, even someone with the concisest of Concise OEDs could
find that out for himself. And anyway the amount I pay in
deductions accounts for a sizable chunk of my income, so I pay myself!
Vile Jelly 29 July 2003 17:35
Too true.
I was only being facetious as you well know. [Incidentally, apparently
facetious is only on of two words in English in which the letters 'aeiou'
occur only once and in the correct sequence]. I can never remember what the
other one is.
Anyway, the bottom line is most of us have a job that is poo and the only
solution is to rise up against the economic tsars. Can you imagine (I do, oh
lordy, yes, I do!) the look on Mr Smug Convertible's face when he is run
through by an irate cook only to find that the hospital peeps who could have
saved him are all off for the weekend just like he was).
I'm sorry, I've got to go and lie down in a darkened room now!
The only thing that stops me indulging in poetic justice is that I don't care
much for poetry .... apart from Owen, Sassoon, Gerard de Nerval.
Helen Bristol 30 July 2003 10:15
Don't know what happened then..................I had just click to open your
emu and there was a power shutdown.............as in all the electricity went
off. I know, I thought, its that explosive reply from his Vileness.
And lo, it was.
Not to rub it in too much.......I'm off for 5 days and, true to form BM isn't.
This is a running joke in the dept. I suppose I could mosey over to
Adnamsville but the reason for taking some time off was to get away from the
deafness-inducing Airshow so it would be a lost cause, being a mere handful of
miles down the coast.
Must get on, so little to do, so much time to do it.
Vile Jelly 30 July 2003 11:55
You're a cruel and heartless woman .....
..... have you ever considered a job as a St. Ives Pub/Restaurant Manager?
Helen Bristol 30 July 2003 13:57 Got a twitchy finger or something? You sent this one twice at exactly (?) the same time. The stress must be getting to you. I empathise. Vile Jelly 31 July 2003 15:36 The german singing owls made me do it! Helen Bristol 30 July 2003 14:01
I'm cut to the quick. I shall have to indulge in some retail therapy to
get over that.
Now, you see, VJ, I don't consider my work as a mere job...............I'm
told I have something called a career path..........which probably leads
somewhere............. I'll let you know when I find out.
And the answer is "yes" but I think it was in a
nightmare.
Vile Jelly 31 July 2003 15:36 Cut to the quick, eh? As opposed to moi, who is merely quick to be cut. Those damn Globals nobble me every time it gets busy (i.e. all the time) and I get stressed (i.e. all the time). Mike, one of the chefs in the Slave Pits, was saying that he found a small trail of blood this morning and so knew we'd been busy last night even before he saw the score on the counter! Helen Bristol 31 July 2003 17:50
I've just spent the day filing my report for the Big Dig, so now need to sooth
the fevered brow and have a swig of something cold - back to the Sancerre
again.
Talking of cuts, BM tried the slicing-the digit-off trick with the bread knife
at some godly hour this morning. I was still fast asleep.
Vile Jelly 31 July 2003 22:06 How do you know he did it then? Helen Bristol 01 August 2003 10:44
What? The cut? Says he was being parsleymonious and trying to get an
extra slice off the end crust. It was just after the dawn chorus which
yet again failed to wake me, as did the alarm clock.
BM in Lunnun today, I wonder if he'll encounter the saintly one.
Looks like the Airshow will be a wash-out today. Yesterday a couple
................. (sorry, mini interruption........a Geordie (if I'm any judge
of Jimmy Nail-like accents but I was 'luv' not 'pet') with 'Whitby Fish'
embroidered on his whites, selling fresh fish from Lowestoft. I hadn't
the heart to tell him that I can get that any day of the working
week....................anyway, a couple of F16s buzzed the town, rattling
windows and reminding me again, as if I really needed to be reminded, why I
hate them so much. Even all the birds Dived, or is it dove, for cover
and put their wings over their ears.
Trying to get the house a bit tidier as younger son coming for the weekend.
I'm beginning to think that this chair is what aggravates my back after
slaving over a hot keyboard yesterday and playing with my new infra red mouse.
Vile Jelly 01 August 2003 15:37
F16's, eh?
You should have got a job as a plane spotter! Did you happen to notice what
Mark they were and which ordnance they had chosen .....
Sorry, about the interruption I think the secreted services must be
interfering with the site!
PS. Infra-red mouse? Does this mean that CM is investing in Night-Vision
Goggles? Who knows where this particular arms race may lead us.
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