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Helen Bristol 15 September 2003 17:42 Re: I Blame Bill Gates!
Have done. "Style" depends on whether its yer cheap and
cheerful or something with a bit of class.
Put 5th October in your diary. BM says we'll invite you to tea !!!!!!
Assuming you can find a teensie window in your undoubtedly crammed social
calender. Have Wussie will travel. At the very least he'll buy you
a pint (of Doom, presumably)
PS workmen packing for the day (almost as long as your shifts) so we're off to
the Field to inspect the work there.
Vile Jelly 15 September 2003 21:30
5th October. Right.
Keep reminding me ..... preferably at five minute intervals as my attention
span is completely shot at the moment (we were having a debate in the kitchen
this morning as to what day of the week it was ..... we had to work it out but
got there in the end!).
What will you be wearing? I shall be dressed in blood, sweat, tear and
toil-stained chefs whites (which are actually black). You won't be able to
miss me, I'm the miserable looking wretch in that pokey little room above the
pub.
Helen Bristol 16 September 2003 07:57
OK 5th October.
What does it matter what day of the week it is? You tell us that you
work 24/7 for 2/9d. Doesn't sound as though it would be SAFE to eat at
the Sloop.
Haven't decided - depends on the chill-factor - mini skirt and crop top might
be a tad in appropriate. I'll be the one with BM in tow. Might
throw in a pink carnation and a rolled up copy of the Idler. Where is
the clock in the Slupe? I'll stand under that. There, you see, I think
I've covered every scenario.
PS Picked up your NVQ yet?
Vile Jelly 16 September 2003 17:53
I don't know about eating but it certainly isn't safe to cook there!
PS. Don't worry .....
..... unless you forget to keep reminding me and I forget to tell her but I'll
bring the Soup Dragon down. Since, you're like two peas from the same pod (or
bag of frozen peas) the connection should be obvious!
PPS. No. The more I work, the less I care about it. Maybe I'll bequeath it to
the RT's grandchildren.
Helen Bristol 17 September 2003 07:48
He who is without sin can cast the first stone. I presume you are referring to
the proclaimed sweetness, freshness and tenderness of Mr. Birdseye's
finest. I utterly deny any association with Hollands. Howsoever,
I'm sure Soupie and I have a lot of catching up to do concerning the escapades
of the RT and VJ - really can't work out who leads whom astray. Oh, and
of course, recipes to swap. So she and I will talk girlie-talk and you
and BM can discuss the comparative virtues (?) of various cooking utensils and
other such macho things.
PS you can only bequeath it if you've got it.
Vile Jelly 17 September 2003 08:11
Well, I hope you have a good bout of 'girltalk' with Soupie but I think you'll
find that she is just as bad as the rest of the RT when it comes to propping
the bar up. Mind you, when you've been raised on a planet with whistling mice
and an iron chicken I suppose you've got every right to turn to alcohol for
comfort and support.
PS. I thought I'd just leave them a few cryptic clues and let them make it
into a treasure hunt. Not so much King Solomon's as Vile Jelly's School of
Mines. I'm certainly feeling pretty haggard these days!
Helen Bristol 18 September 2003 18:00
You'll have to add a ryder to ensure that She (who must be obeyed) is also a
beneficiary.
PS HRH lived hereabouts. In a local village he is commemorated by road names
Ryder Haggard Way, She Close, Solomon Street. Not a lot of people know
that.
PPS Shiver me timbers me hearty, you'll be knowing that Friday is national
"Talk like a pirate day" Yo ho ho. Won't be difficult at the Slupe
PPPS Bm respectfully requests a favour. You know he's really into soup
making and yesterday's conversation triggered a fond memory of Blue String
Soup, but he can't remember how to make it. Can Soupie help?
Vile Jelly 18 September 2003 19:28
Oh dear.
I can't believe that the 'powersthatbe' could encourage such a thing like
a pirate day.
I mean that anyone with a brain would know that real pirates went around
shooting, shagging and stealing wherever whomever and whatever they could.
Bit like urban Britain these days, would you not say?
Why the hell celebrate such a thing?
Helen Bristol 18 September 2003 22:49
It was the bucarnier ( can't remember if that's the right spelling - cutting
off/cooking ears) that really got to me - think Johnny Depp as Bill
Wyman...... any road up, why not..............national no-smoking-day,
national be-nice-to-your-neighbour day, national
can't-think-what-to-call-it-but-we'll-have-one- anyway day, apparently there
are some folk who's lives are so empty they have to invent
"interest" ,as for me, local can-I-have-a-day-off-doing-nothing
day(s) would be acceptable, for you aussi One suspects.
Why the hell celebrate lots of things? I was going to cite the gun powder plot
..................then thought - maybe, Mr. Fawkes et al were on to
something............
Dunno much about urban life these days..........that's why I left the
Metrolops, but from what I read and see in the mejia, wouldn't EVER want
to return.
Vile Jelly 19 September 2003 21:31
How about National Cookityourbloodyself Day?
Also, as S & Y put it in 1066 And All That we celebrate Bonfire Night to
remind parliament that it would have been a good thing if the Gunpowder Plop
had succeeded!
Helen Bristol 20 September 2003 08:03
I do that every weekday.
PS I'm venturing into Brassicaland this w/e, I may be some
time..................
Vile Jelly 20 September 2003 08:48
I do it every weekday and weekend so phlbphhhhlbl (or however you spell a
raspberry sound!).
Don't let the little green buggers nab you. I don't mind going to Iraq,
Afghanistan or even the US to rescue you but there's no way I'm going to take
on the B's!
Helen Bristol 20 September 2003 11:20
Na, na, nana, na
Oooooooo,Paul, I didn't know you cared! Its not the Bs (why the
greengrocer's apostrophe?) that worry me. Its the Cs.
PS Should you bump into Soupie could you remind her that BM is still waiting
for the Blue String Soup recipe. If its one of those "we-keep-it-in-the-
family" things then - change of plan ................ Soupie and BM
can indulge in soupy-talk and you and I can have a normal, sensible, sane
discussion about world affairs or somesuch ............................on
second thoughts sensible and sane are the wrong words for world affairs...............lets
just talk about ...............things.
PPS Steeling myself for the off
Vile Jelly 20 September 2003 14:00
Hey, hey, yeh, yeh, kiss him goodbye (or however the accursed Bananarama song
went)!
Still negotiating with Madame S for Blue String Soup. Are you sure it was a
soup, I thought it was a pudding. Unfortunately my sister has the
Clangers video and lives in Chorley, which is the other end of the world, so
can't refer back. Of course, there's her kids, maybe ..... As I said,
fortunately they live in Chorley, which is the other end of the world!
Is steeling yourself like steeling a chef's knife? In which case, remember
smooth even strokes at the correct angle. Soon you'll be sharper than an Oscar
Wilde play folded into a razor blade and soaked in lemon juice! Cast those
sprouts back into the hell from which they emerged.
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