The Plight Of The Bumble Bee - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Helen Bristol

15 May 2004 13:12

Who has? Lucy had been sooo looking forward to her holiday in SI. All day long she sat at the window waiting for Shaun to show up - she's still saying it's not his fault, that you'd grounded him for some reason, or the rest of the RT were holding him captive or some such. It's hard to try to explain to her that things like that don't happen to cuddly peeps. My mobile phone is her constant companion " just in case..."

A long but uneventful journey back, roadworks west of Wadebridge and the usual Friday afternoon slowly moving car park on the M25 but still home by 7 p.m.

BM said something about you looking like a contented bumble bee - I was thinking more Wasp. Then he wanted to know why the Cornwall rugger strip is black and yellow and not black and white. I'm sure there's a rational explanation.

The view from the flat sure beats staring at a derelict factory! I'm really pleased for you that you are now gainfully (and I hope happiliy) employed. If only you'd read the emu properly we could have had a few more jars or something.

Vile Jelly

16 May 2004 09:19

Polly, natch.

Ha! That's what you think. What do you think Lucy and Shaun were up to while I was distracting you down at the Slop! The only question is that if they do decide to reproduce, will it be a loblet or a sheepster?

You'll be less than delighted to know that the weather relented on Friday, then un-relented most of yesterday and it's cracking the flagstones today. I blame this cheap weather we're importing from Eastern Europe these days ...

So, you like the bumble bee suit, eh? Handy camouflage for the Summer as most people will run a mile to avoid a giant bumble bee. Tell the colour-blind ignoramus that Cornwall's colours are GOLD and Black. Yellow? Pah! And as for white ... what's he on?

I beg to differ but I did read your e-mu properly. I just didn't understand it properly!

Helen Bristol

16 May 2004 21:15

Oh, right.

Wrong. That was on the penultimate night. I know all about her teenage angst for the previous days/nights. Your extrapolations are endless. So, that's why you declined to visit our abode?

I know it relented on Friday - we were driving through it!

Here today ( according to the weather forecast in t'paper - better here than with you) A mere 23C

Yes, loved it - so cuddly and - well - bee-like- would that be a buff tailed or an orange tailed?

Don't know- he doesn't tell me.

Can't help it if you don't concentrate. It was perfectly clear. Obviously had your mind on other things?

Vile Jelly

17 May 2004 15:04

Well, you did notice that I tried to delay you from re-entering your lair for as long as possible .....

Ah, so it was your fault, then. Well, the fog finally gave up the fight yesterday and we are all sweltering here (espesh yesterday when the extraction fans went on the blink).

I don't know, Joe. When I am in my bumble bee suit I can't actually see my tail and so can not comment as to its colour.

I see, blame me just because it's entirely my fault. Maybe I should just 'do a government' and claim that although I received your e-mail I didn't actually see it and, yes, maybe I should have read it at the time but how was I supposed to know your report had information I needed to know in it!

Helen Bristol

17 May 2004 18:20

back on the treadmill today. i don't know, I'm away for 2 weeks and things just pile up. Its taken me all daaay to work through the post and emus and catch up on the gos.

Sounds as though you can't see full stop. What? Me? Joe??

I don't recall you doing the grovelling bit - but then you'll probably be surprised that I recall anything that night!............ I do..........but I won't tell anyone. I'll have to wait until the next visit - for the grovelly bit.

How's the job going? Guess you'll have to be a tad more circumspect now that you work for the posh crowd - can't have you slagging off the punters.

Vile Jelly

17 May 2004 22:26

The solution is simple ..... don't take holidays. Hell, go and work for Tesco and you'll never have a day off sick either!

Just trying a little rhyme, slime, is that a crime?

What? Grovel? With the state my knee's in? Believe me, the spirit was grovelling but the flesh (well, cartilage I suspect) was weak.

It goes. You know me, the very soul of diplomacy .....

Helen Bristol

18 May 2004 18:31

I see they are enrolling at Cardbored Bay. I quite fancied doing the evening shift and being able to spend all day on the beach.

You could've tried prostrating yourself..........but then again, perhaps not. I don't think I would have fancied even trying to haul you back on your feet - not with the risk of ending up supine again.

Y-e-s. Not a word/gesture out of place. Soul of discretion.

Vile Jelly

19 May 2004 14:52

Yes, apparently the drop-out rate at Tesco in Cardboard Bay is quite high ..... obviously they didn't manage to completely seal the open mine shaft!

I suppose prostration was an option but it would probably have involved genuflection at some point, which would have been right out of the question.

Exactement. And anybody who says otherwise is a stinking, lying, hypocrite who deserves nothing more than to be hung, drawn, quartered, burnt at the stake, racked, thumbscrewed and crucified ..... and severely spoken to if they do it again after their first warning!

Helen Bristol

19 May 2004 18:56

Oh, so they' get off quite lightly then?

Vile Jelly

20 May 2004 15:20

Well, like I said, you know me ..... Mr. Reasonable, Considerate & Merciful!

Helen Bristol

20 May 2004 18:21

Yes, I know, but you can take these things too far.

Vile Jelly

21 May 2004 08:23

Dunno. You can't take things too far here. Only a few miles and then you run out of land with a sudden splash!

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