It's a good diet though, i might try it, but i don't like lager or beer..

 

nor me but the lack of mail might indicate that a lot of thinking has been going on here and i haven't had time for the nice things. I don't expect to come to work to do anything!!!

 

Yes, well, these people who make up silly sayings like that have never had no money obviously.

 

I like your thinking but i don't work like that, and neither do my colleagues (generally) fortunately. And i've been working here for 18 years (oh my god!!) so getting another job isn't really on the cards, having a stonking pension and all that. And i wouldn't want to start at the bottom again, not knowing stuff etc. However if i ever won the lottery (3or 4 mill would be good) then they'd only have a month of my time to get me to do anything.

Works with gin too!

 

Aha, you didn't say you were management.

 

Probably had too much money if they had the time to think up that sort of drivel.

 

Pension? Haven't they all been embezzled? I thought everyone was going to have to work for at least ten more years after they are dead to compensate for the hole in the pension fund. £3 or £4 mill might do at a pinch but I'm saving myself for the double rollover jackpot. It's hardly worth winning otherwise!

don't much like that either! Wine or champagne...

 

I'm not. I decided to stop just below that pleasure, that way i can happily pass the buck when the sh1t hits the fan!

 

probably.

 

Not ours, it's always been a proper one where it's safe if the company goes down the pan (hardly likely). I liked the triple roll over they had a couple of weeks ago, needless to say i didn't win it.

I'll drink to that.

 

Then how can you come to work expecting not having to if you're not management?

 

Yes, they all say that. Usually from some non-extraditable country just after it has all gone prune-shaped. Still, pensions aren't a problem we serfs have to worry about. (Maybe be that's the origin of the money/happiness drivel).

 

PS. Can't wait to receive the government's advice on how to survive a major terrorist atrocity. I don't think we'd stand much chance down here, we haven't worked out how to survive our own government's atrocities yet!

I expect you will.

 

Because. Who actually wants to work when they fall out of bed in the morning and plod their weary way to the place that expects to see them each day and pays them at the end of each week or month? Having to and wanting to are quite separate, hence i have to work when i get here and the amount varies depending on the way the wind is blowing, but i don't actually want to, so with my female logic at it's most keen: i don't expect to have to work!!!

 

what, probably? oh, the pension. What do you propose to do when they scrap the state pension then? You're not scabbing off me.

 

ps. My Nan had the right idea when she heard a thunderstorm: hide under the kitchen table with a tea towel on your head. Your all right down there, the terrorists won't get through the holiday traffic.

 

pps. I chortled a fair bit at lunch time when i read your email to Helling about the swimming pool jacuzzi..

The chance would be a fine thing.

 

Aha, the internal optimist. Me, I operate on the basis that everything will go disastrously wrong. Thus, while I'm still not happy, natch, at least I'm not surprised when everything does. Still recovering from last night - an absolute 24 carat turd!

 

Damn right I'm scabbing off you. Why should the current yoof be the only generation to freeload? Of course, if that plan doesn't appeal to you I suppose you could always try to persuade the english government to do something about wages down here. I mean, who is going to and what would be the point of saving your minimum wage towards a less-than-minimum pension? My pension plan consists of mugging, burglary and drugs dealing; all of which are more profitable and have higher social status than cheffing!

 

PS. Unless our suspicions are correct and the ems are the terrorists!

 

PPS. Glad someone did, she didn't see very amused.

oh go on, i'm sure you have time to go to the Slurp.

 

I'd rather have a smile on my face and live in hope knowing that i may be let down. Life is too short to walk around being miserable and not actually being able to do much about it. Be happy inspite of things, not miserable because of them. Have you recovered from your super shift then?

 

only if you can find me. I'm going to hide my money under the mattress so you can't find it. I didn't realise things were so bad actually, I see you've had to send Sonic out to work; and for McDonalds of all places, he must have been really bad.

 

ps. no, they're not clever enough

Only once in a blue moon (or hedgehog).

 

But contemplating going on violent rampages and using nickel-jacketed lead to remove those who make my life miserable makes me happy! So, your theory wouldn't work for me. We had a similar philosophical debate t'other week when we were discussing the subject of keeping the customer happy. What if, as so many appear to be, the customer is only happy when they are complaining about something?

 

What can I say? He's young, naive and he needed the money! It's all Winwaloe's fault. If he and his home counties robber barons weren't so determined to keep us poor down here Sonic would never have been reduced to such desperate means to earn a living.

 

PS. Oh? And killing yourself and others by flying/driving explodey things into solid objects is clever?

I've sorted that one. Smile sweetly, listen to all they have to say, say 'yes of course you'll sort it out' and walk away and forget it. By the time they complain again it's too late and you can honestly say that you forgot. If they are like most people they will forget/not come again, either way you won't be bothered by them again. And if the gravy is cold, stick it in the microwave.

 

Poor chap, next thing you'll know the Shaun's will be advertising Pampers and Soupie will be working with Baxters..

 

ps well not that bit no, but they bit higher up the chain - deciding where to do it.

But that assumes that the person upon whom you perpetrate that tactic isn't me. If it was, and you did that, the gravy wouldn't be the only thing to go in the microwave!

 

Please don't mention such things. I already have had to stop the Shauns using the internet unsupervised because they were going to reply to an urgent e-mail from a nigerian in desperate need of someone to make millions by contributing to their mint sauce factory! Soupie, on the other hand, has her scales screwed on right. No corporate corpulent sponsorship for her. As long as she has enough soup to feed Soupette and the rest of the RT she has no intention of depleting the resources of her soup mine.

 

PS. As do the ems. They have chosen St. Ives (and Cornwall generally) as the Christmas Island of their 'recreational' experiments. Did you see the thing in the Sunday Times t'other (sun)day? The big 'Newquay is the Play, Party, Pop Pills, Puke and Pork' capital of Engerlund? Laughed at the people who said 'But it's not like that at all, my daughter/son/goat went there and said it was just like a family holiday'. Tune into Reality FM. Better still, listen to the voices of both locals and long-standing visitors who say that it is Hell-On-Wheels.

erk

 

glad someone has their head screwed on, left to you men, the place would fall apart.

 

ps i didn't see it but i have heard Newquay is the place to go for your girlie party (both types). As you say, any parent who doesn't know that is seriously lacking. 

Just think of it as 'extreme sports sunbed'!

 

Tsk, tsk, no need to be sexist. The way the RT see it is - left to you humans the planet would fall apart ..... and ..... bugger me ..... !

 

PS. All parents are seriously lacking. If they were responsible citizens they wouldn't have children. Based on the current crème de la crap!

PS With that line of thinking none of us would be here.

 

i'm off now, not in tomorrow, there may be a bottle or two emptied tonight.

Exactly. And what's wrong with that idea? You hear people complaining about life all the time but you never anyone complaining about non-existence do you?

 

Anyway according to Prof Winston human mortality is the price we pay for sexual reproduction. If our bods hadn't been evolved to reproduce they wouldn't go all crumbly on us. So, at least I can console myself with the thought that our gilded youth are currently busy shagging themselves to death in a Newquay pile of piss and puke!