Helen Bristol

03 October 2004 17:24

Re: Hello again

Still crazy after all these years, just unable to commune with the world due to a) not having anything rivetting to the sum of all knowledge and b) all the wires and bits of string in my 'puter not doing their job.  The Rufus Lunar company installing our broad band obviously mis-read the moon's phases and tried to do it at the wrong time of the month.  But, hey-ho, we're back in touch with the world, intermittently, so here I am while I can be.
 
The Tonka toy was withdrawn from ebay so BM's now looking for a Land Rover.
 
Saying you don't like jazz is about as sensible as saying all french men are great lovers, all italians men will pinch your bum ( they aren't and don't) or all top shelf mags are dirty (seen at our local news shop - on top shelf "Gardeners' World" but it could have been the nude photos of Titchmarsh et al that made them put it out of reach of the little grey-haired old ladies from the bayou).
 
I was just going to say that we're still waiting for the threatened inundation from the west, when I looked out of the window and realised it's been pissing hisistently for some time. 
 
Wrong again - can't get connected!

Vile Jelly

04 October 2004 15:10

First half is definitely Paul Simon but I don't know who wrote the 'just unable to commune with the world' lyrics. The Rufus Lunar Company sounds like it ought to be the baddie in a James Bond movie. No wonder your computer is trying to crush your resistance and take over the world!
 
Full size or Dinky model?
 
But it is necessary in a universe of such magnitude and complexity to make generalisations in order to be understood. If you justified your position on anything by examining each and every example of it you'd never finish your first meaningful conversation. Suffice it to say that if you divided the jazz I've heard into Like, Can Listen To and Would Rather Listen To Silence categories the vast majority would fall into the last category. Therefore the 'I don't like jazz' generalisation is a statistically if not exclusively valid statement. Well, I've already viewed gardening as a sinister if not slightly pervy activity and so the GW mag is rightly placed on high with Nuns 'n' Goats, What Choirboy and Big Boobs (the unauthorised biography of George W. Boosh).
 
Yea, verily it rained muchly yesterday but now it is cracking the flagstones.
 
Yes you can (or this e-mu is a pigment of my imagination).

Helen Bristol

04 October 2004 18:06

Baddie - full stop
 
An indestructable HiLux
 
It did.  Just goes to show how unreliable this broad band thing can be.

Vile Jelly

04 October 2004 23:10

Actually, I do believe that was a hyphen.
 
Isn't that an immortal hippy who smokes soap? Gosh, the things you can find on ebay (as opposed to Tebay, which was a mind-numbingly dull service station on the M6).
 
Well, I never understood why sticking an ancient brand of margarine in your computer was ever going to improve things.

Helen Bristol

06 October 2004 20:25

Just testing.
 
Then there's Sizewell Tea.
 
Huh?

Vile Jelly

07 October 2004 15:08

Do I get a gold star?
 
Does it fill you with 'get up and glow'?
 
Sorry. Getting Broadband and Blueband confused. Has it started working properly yet or are you still a roadkill on the information superhighway?

Helen Bristol

07 October 2004 18:30

Not for getting just one thing right. You'll get one point and when you get 10 points you'll get a gold star.
 
Where do you think ReadyBrek got the idea from?
 
D'know, I just use it, no idea who or what my supplier is.I leave all that sort of thing to BM. He seems to understand it.  I guess if you're receiving emus than something must be working.

Vile Jelly

08 October 2004 10:41

But I only know 7 things!
 
Reinforced concrete I had presumed.
 
But what if, heaven forbid, BM was severely injured or fatally killed in a freak ebay accident? You need to know things in case of emergencies. What if the whole world but you is wiped out in a bio-chemo-nuko apocalypse? You'd be left there, not knowing how the internet-y thing on your computer works. I bet you'd feel pretty foolish then, eh?

Helen Bristol

08 October 2004 17:58

Borderline then, silver/bronze, though come to think of it we only had gold or silver stars at skool.
 
Y'know something? If push came to shove I think I could still do real writing and manage to cope with a book so I'm not sure I'd miss the computer.  Letters would just take longer to reach you.

Vile Jelly

09 October 2004 11:09

But I'd get 100% if you only asked me seven questions about those things!
 
Well, I suppose with your keen bird-hunting skills you'd never run out of quills to scribe with. Can you do illuminated manuscript? You'd have to employ a boy to carry the messages in a forked stick as the postal service down here is pretty much in the same condition as the NHS!

Next    Back    Home    Site Map

 
I (that’s me) own the copyright in all the content of this site (except where otherwise acknowledged). You can read it, download it, transmit it and reproduce it only for your own personal use. You are not allowed to bugger about with it. If your computer explodes as a result of accessing this site and its contents, it’s nothing to do with me, mate! Copyright Vile Jelly Publications 2001-2009. All rights (and some wrongs) reserved.