Have You Ever? - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

Gill Richards

18 October 2004 13:45

pah

I didn't get this [my previous reply]. I've been sitting here patiently waiting for your reply and it was lost in the ether. cr*p isn't it?

pain rel ever
Only when sitting on your doorstep waiting for the RT to get home. Not at other times, unless it is raining.
Currently still there, how long it will last is anyone's guess.
we're working on it. wait for a while and you will be amazed. (so will we if we ever get through the amount of work that needs doing!) If the world and everyone on it has been nuked and you are the only one left, what does it matter what you may have won? There will be no-one to answer your call, send the ticket, fly the plane, serve you food, fill your car, sell you new undies, lock you out of your own home, drink dry your drinks cabinet, spend all your money....need i go on?

PS see, he couldn't keep away. ha ha ha!!

Vile Jelly

18 October 2004 15:29

What? The reply or the ether?

Nowimabeli ever.

Bugger! Why does no one tell me these things? The Shauns said they had come up with a foolproof plan to make some moolah and I have been stockpiling lottery tickets, special offers, promotional competitions and junk-mail 'guaranteed win' thingies in the, not unreasonable, expectation that statistically my chances of winning will be greatly improved after the bio/chemo/nuko apocalypse when potential rivals are small piles of glowing ash. Now, you're telling me I'm not going to be able to claim my prizes! What sort of a bloody service do you call that? I haven't the heart to tell the Shauns, they spent weeks thinking up this cunning plan. Bah!

PS. Yes. Lucky us, eh? The RT haven't emerged from the pub since they found out. They claim that The Sloop in St. Ives is the only safe place to be because Windy is the only Spookyist to never show his face there in all this time.

Gill Richards

18 October 2004 15:52

everything.

bicyclel ever

of course all that would be great (not) as long as you didn't get hit. It would be such a shame to collect all those things and then be in the middle of the explosion, you'd be splatted all over where St Ives used to be.

ps good idea, tell them to get one in for me, i'll be there asap.

Vile Jelly

18 October 2004 22:38

I apologise for the quality of my reply, not sure I can do much about the ether though.

Caught you! No such word/phrase exists. I've heard of tyre levers but not bicycle levers.

Good grief. You're starting to make a total apocalypse sound like a bad
thing. But, as a St. Ives serf, what else can I look forward to?

PS. Hope you've got sharp elbows. Ever since Windy resurfaced they've been rather attached to their beer. Very attached, in fact. They've dispensed with the glasses and ..... well, have you ever seen films of aircraft refuelling in mid-air?

Gill Richards

19 October 2004 08:35

didn't mean the reply, just everything else, i was having a bad day.

That's what i meant. It's very difficult trying to think of ...ever words when battling with Broadband, drawings, other operators, new networks and colleagues who can't do their jobs...... see, i was having a bad day.

You were of the opinion that it was a good thing were you? You have the winter to look forward to. St Ives, no ems (apart from the ones who know a good thing and partake of the peace and quiet), lovely scenery, peaceful walks (apart from the wind, from the sky) and with any luck you will keep the job you currently have.

ps. I'm an old lady in training, elbows are being finely sharpened. Don't blame them. have seen the films, always looks rather dodgy to me, like those nature films of elephants mating.....

Vile Jelly

19 October 2004 15:19

Seems to be catching. Me and Helling too.

Ooh er. If that sort of thing bothers you I suggest you don't get a job in the cheffing trade. Here incompetence and sloth comes as standard.

If only. We are still busy, ems are still infesting the burg, unpleasantness abounds. The only quiet time in St. Ives these days is in November. 23rd. Between 9.42am and 12.20pm to be precise. Are you sure the apocalypse is all bad? I had rather pinned my hopes on it.

PS. Still no sign of the RT. Plenty of signs in St. Ives Bay of BP supertankers hired by the brewers to resupply the Slupe. Oh my poor aching bank account!

Gill Richards

19 October 2004 16:15

Must be the weather. Don't know about you, but when it's raining and chilly, i don't want to leave the house/bed so dragging myself to work is crummy. Also i don't like to be stuck indoors all day when the sun is shining and i could be outside enjoying myself.........

Can't stand other people getting paid the same as me and then not pulling their weight and asking me questions all the time, what are they doing here if they can't do the job? Couldn't work in the cheffing trade, i have my own way of cooking and whilst it produces yummy results, i don't think Gordon Ramsay will think much of it.

Still that many? That is precise. No, it's not all bad, it will clear the world of all the scummy people, all the dregs that don't deserve to breath, those that go away and expect the locals to speak English and serve egg and chips and fill SI with their cries of "lets feed the seagulls.......ow, the b*****d". Unfortunately of it doesn't get you it will probably get all your friends and the people that you really don't want to loose and of course it will be cold and dark for a very long time and you won't be able to get beer.

ps can they fit in the bay? (the tankers that is). Never mind, come the apocalypse everyone's bank account will be deleted (there, something to look forward to)

Vile Jelly

20 October 2004 09:38

Tsk, tsk. If god wanted us to enjoy life he wouldn't have invented it. I regard it as merely practicing for eternity in hell (i.e. another normal working day) or eternity in oblivion (i.e. that non-existence of time that occurs between finishing work one week and starting it again the next).

I don't think Gordon Ramsay thinks. He just shouts and swears a lot. Which when you think about it are the qualities you most need, rather than technical ability, to get any work out of the muppets that generally infest the planet.

Bugger! Another otherwise perfect plan ruined by a mere technicality. Perhaps I shall just retire to the pub and join the RT in Operation 'Buggeroffworld' and get piscatorial.

Oh aye, lad, it's quite deep. We've had an aircraft carrier (the Nark Royal) parked in the bay before now.

Gill Richards

20 October 2004 14:32

Oh lets not get into that discussion. With reference to our 'ever' tennis - i have not 'seen her face', so i'm not. As you rightly say, we are already in hell and oblivion, you will only not be reincarnated if you have been really really good. I work to pay for my life outside, i happen to enjoy my job which is a bonus, but i wouldn't miss it if i won the lottery.

i think he does, 'who shall i shout at next?'. Damn good manager.

i would, they seem to have it nailed.

gosh, with lots of uniformed Navy men?

Vile Jelly

20 October 2004 15:08

How do you know you haven't seen her face? Anyway the song say's I'm not You're. No chance of reincarnation for me then. Oh well, I never did particularly like condensed milk anyway. In that case, you could win the lottery but keep your job and give me the money and then we'd both be happy. Well ..... you'd be happy and the RT would be very, very shlobbleobble.

Exactement. His chef's knives are just for show and stabbing recalcitrant KPs!

I know, the lucky buggers. Why couldn't I have been born a cuddly peep?

Yes, and the Lady Mayor (as she was then, Harry hasn't had a sex change) was rowed out to entertain them!

Gill Richards

20 October 2004 16:01

I don't so i don't. that's right, i'm not. i'll bring you a carnation instead. If i win enough i'll give you half and we'll both be ok.

peanuts?

I often think that. I would like to come back as one of my cats, v. well looked after.

lucky girl.

Vile Jelly

21 October 2004 15:10

It's a deal. In fact, come to think of it, it's that traditional cockney delicacy, a jelly deal!

Kitchen Porters.

Fairy nuff. Personally I don't really care much for fish so cathood is probably a no-no for me.

Unlucky sailors!

Gill Richards

21 October 2004 15:17

ha ha ha ha ha

so you pay peanuts and get ........

it's not all fish you know. duck, turkey, chicken. In their time my cats have liked: fruit cake, baked bean juice, garlic croutons, fruit mousse, olive juice and bizarrely rubber and wool. a friends cat likes soap.

if you say so, i haven't seen her.

Vile Jelly

21 October 2004 21:33

Steady now. Deep breaths .....

Peed off chefs.

Wot? No mice?

Ever seen a civic dignitary you fancied? It's all that gilt and vermin, I think. Makes them look like a crimbo tree decoration.

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