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Helen Bristol 14 November 2004 18:21 Re: Hello again
Dear RT,
There you go again, misinterpretting a perfectly innocent statement. It
must be the bad influence VJ has on you darling little fluffy things. I
said it like it is - patient come to the hospital for treatment and is sent
home with a programme of exercises/activities to practise during the week at
home until the next appointment. I can always tell those who do and those
who don't. It's all part of Mr Tony's new wheeze for cutting waiting lists.
Do all (or as many as possible) ops/treaments on a day care basis, ergo no
bedblockers cos there's no beds. Clever or what?
Anythingelse (and I can't imagine what you had in mind) is a figment
of someone's warped thought processes.
Ditto
Helling
The Shauns 16 November 2004 09:43
We are not deer, we're sheep. Also, we're not dear as we are very cheap to
look after. All we need are 40,000 gallons of beer and g&t every day.
That's not much to ask for, is it?
If you are trying to appease Toady Blah's bean-counters wouldn't it be easier
to kill off your less profitable patients like those other nurses have been
doing? We'd help but we only hunt and eat healthy humans.
They don't call him VILE Jelly for nuffink, y'know.
S&S
Helen Bristol 16 November 2004 18:51
Oh dear. Not deer. It's not what I've herd. I wouldn't want to go
around saying I was cheep. It might be misconstrued.
I think you ought to be kind and gentle with VJ. He's not feeling
himself at the moment. Perhaps you could take him out for a drink.
I'd do that myself but it's rather a long way to come just for a night out on
the piss.
The Shauns 17 November 2004 09:36
We don't do the 'herd' thing. We are specialists in flocks (espesh the
wallpaper. It's tasty and nutritious.) We thought you were Miss Bristol. When
did you change your name to Construde? You haven't married a Mr C have you?
And, if you have, does BM know yet?
Jelly not feeling himself? Who is he feeling then? None of us are coming out
of the pub until we know we're safe from him. We don't want to be
materialistic about this but we like being plush and furry, we don't want to
be felt!
Helen Bristol 17 November 2004 18:44
Since when do you get flocks of Sonics, Orms or soup dragons. Your homework
for tonight is to write a list of the collective nouns for the RT, e.g. a
spike of Sonics.
VJ hasn't been telling you the whole story has he? I'm Mrs. B. I
thought I'd work my way through the alphabet until I found one I liked.
BM knows everything, that's why he's so clever.
I see the latest stuff is boiled wool!!
The Shauns 18 November 2004 09:56
It's a SPIKINESS of Sonics.
A slither of Orms.
A flatness of Erics
A tureen of Soup Dragons
A naughtiness of Barts
A flock of Shauns aka an attack of Vicious Killer Sheep
A dessert of Roobarb & Kustid
A scuttle of lobsters .....
..... oh, and a pubful of RTs.
We feel sorry for Mr Zebedee, then. Unless you become a mormon or start doing
a Liz Taylor he's going to be waiting a long time for his turn! And BM doesn't
know everything. Else why did he want to talk to Windbag about Landies? (And
why would he want to talk to Windbag about anything unless he is a masochist
or an utter fool!).
Urk! We hope they let the sheeps take their wool off before they boil it.
Anybody who tries to boil us will be subjected to a severe hoofing, viciously
killed and then reprimanded.
Helen Bristol 18 November 2004 17:56
VERY good, you deserve a gold star for that except you omitted VJ..'though ,on
second thoughts, isn't a VJ a collection in itself (hisself)?
I didn't say I was going to work through them in alphabetical order....
The Reporting Team 20 November 2004 15:38
We'd rather have a Gold Label!
An excrescence of Vile Jelly (could there be more than one?). How about
that then? And you thought we spend all our time in the pub
pickling our brains.
But you did say you were working your way through the alphabet (or alpha
males?). How do you do it then? Draw letters from a tombola?
Helen Bristol 20 November 2004 16:07
What the beer or the absinthe?
?? Sorry I misread that. I thought it said "excellence".
It's an easy mistake to make when you're wearing the wrong glasses. The
ones for computer work are downstairs and I can't get down there at the mo as
BM is taking up the stair carpet. No I didn't - I know
that's what you do.
That's my secret - even I don't understand how it works. Anyway if I
revealed it I would be at a disadvantage - all the alpha males who's name was
next on the list would go into hiding!
The Shauns 20 November 2004 16:29
Oh, the beer. Absinthe is extremely dodgy. It's french for a start.
Excrements would probably have been closer. Can't you just squeeze your
eyeballs into the right shape so you can focus? Works every time for us. We
can even get it work on VJ although he does complain about it. You'd think
he'd be grateful to have proper vision, wouldn't you?
Perhaps you could supply us with a selection of names. We could calculate odds
for each and then everyone could have an alpha-bet on who's next. We'll even
cut you in for a small percentage of whatever profit we make (or 100% of any
loss).
The Shauns
Helen Bristol 21 November 2004 13:11
Thought you'd say that.... but what, apart from being "cheeses-eating
surrender monkeys" is wrong with being french?
When doesn't he? If he had proper vision it could go either way - things could
look a whole lot better, or infinitely worse.
Well, I started out with M but can't remember that far back to get them all in
the right order. I'll sit by the roaring log fire with my slippers and
pipe and have a good old-fashioned reminiss. I'll probably be able to
come up with an anagram of the initials............
Helling
The Sonics 21 November 2004 15:47
You need more than that? How about spending most of the time since WW2
collaborating with the Germans, after spending most of WW2 collaborating with
the Germans. Plus they wear stripey shirts festooned with onions.
3.38pm on February 22nd, usually. Perhaps we should just pluck out VJ's vile
jellies (a la King Lear) and remove all doubt. What do you think?
You've had that many? Or is your memory just going? Why is the log fire
roaring? Is it fierce? The Shauns are very fierce but they don't roar. It must
be ferocious. Perhaps you should handle it with care (and keep BM nearby in
case it needs something fed to it).
The Sonics
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