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Greetings, humans. It is I, Soupie.

It has been brought to my attention that due to the manifest deficiencies of your species you do not have access to the rich veins of ore that can be found in soup mines.

So, I have taken pity on you and created some substitutes for you. It will never be real soup as we dragons know it but you probably aren't ready for that anyway.

Spicy Bean Sloop Soop

To perform this trick you will need an onion, 3/4 celery sticks, some fresh chillis, a bit of butter, a tin or two of kidney beans, some vegetable stock, tomato puree, a tin or two of chopped tomatoes, a bottle of sweet chilli sauce and salt & pepper.

[Please note that quantities are excessively vague as I am having to use Vile Jelly's notes, which are non-existent. Apparently, he just lobs stuff in until it looks and tastes right. So much for an exact science!]

	Melt the butter in a saucepan.
	Chop (fairly coarsely) the onion and celery. Finely chop the chillis (then find an enemy and rub your fingers in their eyes, bwahahaha!).
	Lob them in the melted butter and cook gently until coloured.
	Add the chopped tomatoes, tomato puree and kiddly beans and mix thoroughly.
	Add some vegetable stock until the mixture is reasonably liquid without becoming runny.
	Add sweet chilli sauce according to your personal tastes ( bearing in mind that the 'bite' of the chilli will diminish if the soup is going to be chilled and then re-heated at a later time).
	Season with salt and pepper and allow to simmer for 30-40 minutes, diluting with vegetable stock if necessary to keep it at a reasonably thick consistency.
	Taste occasionally during this period and add further sweet chilli sauce and/or seasoning if required.

Serve immediately or, and VJ is of this thought, this is a soup that will benefit from being re-heated (assuming you keep it properly).

When you have finished, retire downstairs to the bar and bitch about everything and everyone. (Or, if not in The Sloop, pour yourself a slug of the good stuff and put your paws up).

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