Crocs Away! - E-Mail correspondence with Spooky St. Ives

hay I know all about Canada Council Grants and the BS stuff that GETS THE MONEY... when I was in Nuzillon visiting my daughter ( now in Kyoto) my young guy John (5 yrs)and I stayed with Maggies dad and his latest gal.... well it turned out I "wasn't her type" but before I was asked to ship anchor.. ....

I stuck a piece of LAMINGTON... the Australian Nashnl Kyke (rimes with dike) in a plastic zip lock bag and pinned it to the wall with a little gallery sign underneath:

now thats worthy of a GRANT... ( or at least a pardon praps) THE WIFE din't see anything funny in this and shortly afterwards we were asked to make tracks... o well and when I think of all the times good ol Will showed up at my door looking for a place to crash with his kyacking pals... erglgrinch

yes, well Paul I have thought about writing via passenger pidg but the galleries usually like to see you in the doorway, portfolio clutched....sew... we'll just see what happens..... won't we... M

ps Lamington is a pinkly icinged lump of dye, sugar and more sugar... kind of interesting aftertaste....( the red #6 I guess) stick your tongue behind your top teeth and sort make a sucking tsh thing and imagine the texture of white flour and sugar... maybe a few bits of hydrogenated palm oil coated coconut .. although, in my dowager years can't really remember the entire image... think I will look it up now.... last year a guy in England somewhere and I kept up letters based soley on Eccles Cakes and the virtues of.. it was fun.. though we parted company when I mentioned FERN TARTS however... hay are you printing this stuff on your memo sheets...?? what do YOU think of ECCLES CAKES?

Eccles cakes are marvelous creations (unlike the actual place itself). Can't stand coconut, though, so I think I'll pass on the Laminated Cake.

AND... I found out that the REAL Lamington is CHOCOLATE covered.. not in the pink.. maybe the one I enjoyed so much in New Z was a fake! better revise the gallery note to read FAKE LAMINGTON or LAMINGTON, a fakery or will the real LAMINGTON please go away... reminds me... the gulls would like it.. add colour to the pooparama circus at the docks

so PAULS, what do you know about WALES the dark hills and all that... think I ought to bivouac there and toddle over to IVEs on occasion? I have a WOOFing connection there with studio barns on her farm and I would be in charge of the bramble department and hedgehog roundups I guess...also, a gal I met on SSI long ago.. living near aaaaberis withy and also, has a spare room.... am looking for a job in a bookstore in the aforementioned town... though when my cv is updated... and recorded.. will maybe look in Ives, but as you say.... digs are costly.. but there is a hostel in town that has winter let deals....

You could be on to something there, you know. Laminated cake flooring is all the rage in the UK at the mo.

Intrigued by 'aaaaberis withy'. I know that the Welsh, like your good self, speak a form of English that not even god has experienced before but even so. Do you perchance mean Aberystwyth? Well, no matter. At least if you do emigrate to Cymru you won't have to worry about the spellchecker any more!

PS. The Sonics say leave the hedgehogs alone or they'll come round and give you a good gloving. (They'd send the Shauns round to administer a good hoofing but they don't dare enter Wales for fear of 'you know what'!).

yes aberystwyth.. and ok I'll leave the prickle pins to their dark eyed ways....ok I guess we've flogged the lamington enough.. have you heard of the other famous Australian cake thing called PAVLOVA? .. how about a baked alaska.... I had one once on I think my 35th birthday somewhere in the u s of a colorado .. also had some prairie oysters.. check that one out...

are you writing the journals of seagulpoo? I think he was actually a Sherpa .. dealing in oxygen bottles. opened up a cool store halfway up Everest... also sold some fab wool sock made out of some kind of fur.. likely the ferocious PIKA... got to go home and have a cup of RED ROSE TEA. (only in Canada)

I always liked the name BUSH TUCKER it means wichity grubs and things you find outback.... have you ever seen the movie Crocodile Dundee? I never get tired of seeing this story.. so much fun ..

Oh, we know all about bush tucker. Mainly because there are now more Australians in this country than there are in Australia.

God knows why. Who in their right mind would want to come and dwell in the UK (particularly in The Big Stench) when they could be at home wrestling crocs, boxing kangaroos and sewing corks on their hats. They can't be coming here to get away from their godawful beer because it has already been dumped on us.

ya well... recently going through my pics of downunda and thers some of my boy.. at age 5 with a XXXX beer sign behind him.... I went into the bar in the Kuranda Hotel and John was withn sight in the pool hall... this is where the locals would hang out... and occaisionally (sp) I would go over and put some money in the juke box and listen to Bruce Hornsby and the Range play..... The Way It Is....... oh dearie I do love those ghost gums up in the Kakadu... was invited to go outback with a bloke but declined.. I wonder what would have happened to this day...... we were in Jabiru Park at the time and as I recall it was a Game Warden asking us to come along on a campout.... hmmmmm .....

Mind you, with all those dodgy disappearances of backpackers in the Outback you were probably wise to stay in the Infront. Otherwise you could have really ended up in the kakadu!

I really liked the sign which read... DANGER-- CROCODILES... no swimming ..keep your dogs and children away.... oh ya.... as if one would go swimming anyoo according to CD (Crocodile Dundee) the crocs just grab ya an rollyer round and round an jam ya under a log.. and come back for nibblies layta. sew, we nevah wint alone to

those billabongs.. tho on a hike with some ladies I met in Queenslind... they mentioned that they'd seen a Taipan down near a waterway... and when I found out that it was at the top of the list for deadliness... I scooped up my 5 year old and retraced steps.. prontolito!..

back to love in the bush..actually maybe thats the origin of the expression bushtucker what do you think dear Paul... listen.. one GETS invites now and then,, (nowadays mostly then) and according to ones inner voice you go or not... while on Corfu many years ago. a gypsy man who danced like a snake and smelled of exotic mysteries... long shiny black ringlets and a smile from Ceylon, asked me to return to his camp.... I was very tempted but didn't go... still I muse upon the events that may have happened if I had gone away with him..also when back in jolly old the same trip.. I met a man all dressed in green from head to toe.. long blonde hair.. we met at the Body Mind Spirit Festival in Bristol and smoked pot in a tipi pitched in the gymnasium... he asked me to go back to a farm commune with him and hang out... I declined this invite also... WHY? I don't know....same trip, out on Barra at a ceildhi a dark Scot beckoned me upstairs and I went to lie abed with him.. his hair was black and shiny and he smelled of oil and wood smoke...he was a seaweed gatherer.. nothing happened beyond a few kisses, but he said that all below stairs would think otherwise Have you ever been invited OUTBACK? lets hear some stories..... M looks like the DARK ONES cause the most interest... of course now its and nice shiny GREY.... still the primitive call.. to go with the GLOSSIEST ONES...... the Green Man was blonde...