It is real life!  Your comment about Gill just proves it.  Not quite how I'd imagined her.  Nice of Gill to ask after us.  Perhaps we should all meet up in SI for your Big 40 ( or will you be 39 AGAIN?)  You've been photographised, ergo you too must be a) human and b) quality.

 

St.W. was behaving like a culprit returning to the crime scene recently.  Giving you lots of (maybe false) hints as to his identity.......... It was Dr. Green in the conservatory with the hosepipe.

 

Got to go INSIDE the M25 tomorrow.  If you haven't heard from me by Wednesday alert the authorities, 'though by then I'll probably have disappeared off the face of the A-Z.  An old friend's 25th Wedding anniversay bash - they married us off young in those days!   

Really? How did you imagine her? Well, it was either that or talk about me ..... !

 

I fully intend to expire before I am put in such a dire circumstance. Death before dotage! And your theory is, alas, erroneous, as the photo is actually of the RT and I just happened to be captured en passant by accident. Had I known my hideosity had been captured on electric film I would never have allowed the RT to put it on the webby.

 

But I know who he is ..... and where he is. The big issue that I can't get a handle on is why he is. Really? I thought it was the Reverend Black with the choirboy behind the bikesheds!

 

Judging from the M25's fearsome reputation you may actually be attending their golden anniversary by the time you get there.

The photy of you at the beerfest was hardly an accident - taking up 7/8th of the screen as you did.

 

Are you sure it wasn't Miss Scarlet with the Reverend Black in the Vestry.

 

If you know what's the big mystery?  The regulars can help you sort why.

 

We're back safely though where all the peeps on the M11 and M25 were going at 11 o'clock on a Sunday morning......... ah, of course the garden centres..

I see, mock my size. It's not my fault that the RT are small and cuddly whereas I am not and not. Anybody can see that it is a classic News OB case of "Sorry, Hugh, we'll have to do that take again. Some idiot just wandered across the shot".

 

Judging from the reserves they are making for court cases and compensation payments I would guess the C of E, Papists, etc. would be wishing it had been Miss Scarlet (isn't that Lucy?) and not the choirboy.

 

Well, come on then. My brain hurts at the mo'. My cousin is staying for a fortnight with 2 medically-challenged, hyper, under 5s. T'castle is besieged by a teutonic coach party. I can barely string two sentences together due to the cumulative effects of sleep deprivation and constant euro-misery.

 

Of course, Sunday is the day of worship, remember.

Moi?  Mock you?  Pots, kettles and black could spring to mind - yours not mine.

 

Unless of course Miss Scarlet was underage... or possibly even Mrs. S

 

G'i'us a clue then

 

They'll keep you on your toes then.  You won't have time/energy to complain about your back/achilles tendon/whatever.

 

I've got all my tribe visiting from tomorrow in dribs and drabs until Sunday  you have my sympathy.

Ah, but is it a traditional Cornish fisherman's mock (bought from the Mock Shop outside the Slop)?

 

Hell, they are so worried about choirboygate they probably regard underage extra-marital bonking as perfectly normal and acceptable.

 

No, the idea was that you give me a clue. I'm the one getting 22 minutes and 41.7 seconds of sleep a night.

 

Aha, the caring voice of the NHS! If only you treated the rest of the malingerers with the same ruthless efficiency we wouldn't have all these bed/staff/malpractice crises. 'Ill? Well, don't come anywhere near us, we're all healthy. Bugger off home and stop complaining. You'll either get better or die and you'll stop complaining as soon as you do one or the other'!

 

But your tribe are all grown up (unless they are pygmies, which I know BM's sprogeny aren't!).

But you said..............oh never mind I've lost interest.  Who cares who W is.

 

The latest NHS wheeze is to treat you in your own home thereby saving on beds, buildings, all the catering, cleaning etc, etc, and can't get blamed if someone goes down with the super-killer-bug-from-hell as it must be their own unclean home.

 

The join tribes may be grown up but sometimes you'd never know.  But then look at BM.

Hm ..... an interesting point. Perhaps we could make it into a new SSI feature. Entries to the Reporting Team at the usual address for the Pin A Tale On The Winwaloe. The music-loving judge's decision is vinyl.

 

That would explain the NHS crisis in Cornwall then. Not enough homes!

 

I'd rather not (especially if he's still sulking about the Chimbley Incident).

This could be the revival of SSI, though why anyone would want to pin anything on W is a mystery

 

You've seen through their cunning plan, curses!

 

First tranche left this a.m. Next one arrives tomorrow.

 

I wouldn't worry - he's found a (fairly- well 20 miles away) local pub with DB as a guest beer.  Funny that he always manages to sniff it out.  Why won't you look at him?  What have you got to hide?  

What? Not even a large string of chinese firecrackers?

 

Only because I had access to insider information!

 

Lucky you. At least yours occasionally leave. I've still got another week of hell to get through.

 

He probably put them up to it. Well, as their (presumably) biggest customer he would carry a lot of clout. And the subject of his bigness is why anyone with red-raw eyes like mine doesn't want to be straining them unnecessarily trying to take in his vastness. Can't you publish a compact version of him as well?