The E-Mail Of The Species .....

 

Just to try and give the impression that someone actually pays attention to my deranged diatribes, below are some selected lowlights of the e-mails that people have bothered sending me!

If you've got anything funny or abusive (or, ideally, both) use the hyperlinks to bung me an e-mail. All cunning plans and ideas also gratefully received.

Click on this link to send your rants to Spooky St. Ives

Or

Click on this link to send money/beer/indecent proposals, etc. to the Reporting Team!

[Where appropriate editorial notes and/or comments have been inserted by the reporting team (see Personal Inflammation), E&OE].

Sender Date Read All About It!
NEW Winwaloe 4 January 2005 Come Again?
NEW Gill Richards 4 January 2005 The Looting & Pillaging Team?
NEW Liz Ringrose 3 January 2005 The Last Resort? [Eagles Version]
NEW Andrew Macdonald 3 January 2005 Hare Apparent?
NEW Rick Parsons 3 January 2005 Q Here
NEW John Kernick 3 January 2005 Hayle And Farewell!
Repeat Offender! Ed Care 30 December 2004 That's The (Pioneer) Spirit!
Tony Bennett 29 December 2004 Beer Today And Gone Tomorrow
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 28 December 2004 Unlucky Dip?
Repeat Offender! Steve Collier 25 December 2004 A Few Rounds Of Gulf?
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 23 December 2004 Tails Of The Unexpected?
Alex Menzies 22 December 2004 Only Just!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 23 December 2004 Birth Of A Notion
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 23 December 2004 Time Travelling?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 22 December 2004 A Blessing In Disguise?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 20 December 2004 Is Cornwall Varnishing Or Just Absolutely Lacquered?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 20 December 2004 Some Maters Do Have 'Em!
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 17 December 2004 You Better Not Cry You Better Not Sprout!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 13 December 2004 Eat Drink And Make Chefs Miserable!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 11 December 2004 Pat Ponding?
Marcus Davis 11 December 2004 Tea For Two Too!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 7 December 2004 Flag Of Convenience?
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 7 December 2004 Sofa So Good
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 4 December 2004 Bernard Languor?
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 3 December 2004 Master Baiters!
Repeat Offender! Joy McEldowney 3 December 2004 Oh Dear Reindeer Jane Deere Not John Deere!
Repeat Offender! Steve Collier 30 November 2004 A Chilli Wind?
Repeat Offender! Ed Care 29 November 2004 Brought To Book
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 29 November 2004 Bah! Narnia Splits!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 27 November 2004 The Ex-Vile?
Repeat Offender! Steve Collier 25 November 2004 Thanks For Nothing
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 23 November 2004 Gone With The Wind!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 22 November 2004 Compensation Kulturkampf
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 21 November 2004 Triumph Of The Will
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 16 November 2004 Damsel In This Stress!
Repeat Offender! Paul Vincent 15 November 2004 All Gloom And No Doom?
A Complete And Utter Word Beginning With W 15 November 2004 The Ego Has Landed
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 14 November 2004 Collective (Noun) Responsibility
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 11 November 2004 Forget-Me-Not
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 5 November 2004 Magic Mushrooms!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 5 November 2004 Puss (Quaking) In Boots?
Les Williams 3 November 2004 Oates So Simple!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 2 November 2004 Permit The Sprog
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 1 November 2004 Civil Serpent?
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 31 October 2004 Wither Goest Thou!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 31 October 2004 Chronicle Of A Darth Foretold
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 29 October 2004 A Picture Of Loathliness
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 29 October 2004 Just Kidding!
Penwith District Council 29 October 2004 Seeking Counsel
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 27 October 2004 Grim And Bear It!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 23 October 2004 Cold Comfort?
Toby 18 October 2004 Alf Way House?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 18 October 2004 Have You Ever?
The Mysterious 'sj012b4189' 16 October 2004 Home Is Where The Larf Is
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 15 October 2004 Halt! Hoof Goes There!
Repeat Offender! A Word Beginning With W 11 October 2004 That's Rich
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 11 October 2004 Apocalypse? Ow!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 10 October 2004 Common Health Games
Repeat Offender! Michael Barber 7 October 2004 Floody Hell!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 6 October 2004 Beatle Juice?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 3 October 2004 (Broad)Band Of ..... Buggers!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 28 September 2004 The Consolations Of Philosophy!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 27 September 2004 Fissures Of Men
Repeat Offender! Paul Vincent 27 September 2004 (Car Parking) Space The Final Frontier
Angharad Forbes 23 September 2004 CASH Transaction
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 21 September 2004 And They Call It Puppet Love
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 20 September 2004 Vine Women And Song
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 20 September 2004 100% Vat Free!
Constant Offender! Vile Jelly 14 September 2004 When The Saints Go Marching Out ...
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 14 September 2004 Pod Squad?
Les Williams 13 September 2004 Carpet Diem!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 11 September 2004 L.S.D. Trip Down Memory Lane!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 8 September 2004 Damn With Faintly Praise?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 6 September 2004 Dumb Drum Bullets
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 3 September 2004 Lost For Words!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 1 September 2004 Britannia Waives The Rules
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 1 September 2004 A Dedicated Follower Of Fascism!
Stuart Freestone 31 August 2004 Wreck-less!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 31 August 2004 Surrey? I Haven't Got A Clue
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 31 August 2004 A Grave Plunder-taking!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 24 August 2004 Forgotten But Not Gone!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 23 August 2004 All By My Shelf!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 21 August 2004 A Brief Time Of History
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 21 August 2004 C For Yourself?
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 20 August 2004 Caterpillock?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 17 August 2004 Loathe At First Slight!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 17 August 2004 Flood For Thought
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 15 August 2004 The Camera Never Lies?
Repeat Offender! Liz Ringrose 14 August 2004 Agony Ant?
Andy Archer 12 August 2004 The Observer
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 11 August 2004 Beer Tea Leaves?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 10 August 2004 Flack Day At Bad Rock!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 9 August 2004 Duster's Last Stand?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 7 August 2004 Rising To The Equation!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 2 August 2004 Summertime Blues
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 2 August 2004 Wage Against The Dying Of The Light!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 31 July 2004 Clause 106 Or Catch 22?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 31 July 2004 PROs And Cons
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 30 July 2004 He's A Good (Scotch) Egg
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 27 July 2004 Mines Weeper!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 26 July 2004 Fate Home & Charity?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 26 July 2004 Funds In The Sun?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 25 July 2004 A few Of My Favourite Stings
Repeat Offender! Maureen Morris 25 July 2004 Easel Come Easel Go
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 19 July 2004 Bitter Pils To Swallow!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 18 July 2004 Shopping Your Head Off?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 18 July 2004 Talkin' About Their Generation
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 16 July 2004 Ale's Well That Ends Well
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 10 July 2004 Pic' Acts?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 9 July 2004 Can't See The Wood For The Trees
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 7 July 2004 Homer Rule For Cornwall?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 4 July 2004 Everything With Chips!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 4 July 2004 Gin Trap?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 3 July 2004 People In Glass(Stuffed) Overcoats Shouldn't Throw Stones!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 28 June 2004 Going To The Poles!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 28 June 2004 The Mermaid's Tale?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 28 June 2004 Time And Relative Dimensions In Stives!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 26 June 2004 An Em By Any Other Name?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 21 June 2004 Jack Hughes!
Repeat Offender! Janet Bentley 21 June 2004 The Wages Of Sin (Vary Considerably)!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 21 June 2004 Frying The Flag!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 21 June 2004 A Turnip For The Books
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 18 June 2004 Square Deal Serf?
Andy Bilham 15 June 2004 Drumming Up Support
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 14 June 2004 A Work Of Friction?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 14 June 2004 Pipe Dreams?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 14 June 2004 Roll On/Role Off Fairly?
Repeat Offender! Joy McEldowney 14 June 2004 Information Superhighwaymen!
Repeat Offender! Louise Collins 11 June 2004 Can You Get The Max?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 11 June 2004 Win Or Lose We Booze!
Repeat Offender! Loic Rich 11 June 2004 Questions For Cash
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 11 June 2004 Taking A Global View
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 11 June 2004 Norse Manure?
Repeat Offender! Loic Rich 10 June 2004 Subjective Objective Perspective?
Repeat Offender! Janet Bentley 9 June 2004 Oh Rugger!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 7 June 2004 Don't Let The Bedbugs Bite!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 7 June 2004 To Bee Or Not To Bee
Repeat Offender! Louise Collins 6 June 2004 Parlez-Vous Deutschlish?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 6 June 2004 Danger - Risk Of Electro-locution!
Repeat Offender! Joy McEldowney 4 June 2004 Better The (Tasmanian) Devil You Know?
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 30 May 2004 The Bee's Ankles!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 30 May 2004 A Matter Of Wife And Death
Paul Williams 30 May 2004 One For The Vine
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 25 May 2004 Gone With The Wind!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 25 May 2004 The Worst Laid Plans Of Mice And Jellies ...
Repeat Offender! Joy McEldowney 25 May 2004 The (Out)Back Stabbes!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 24 May 2004 A Little Light (Map) Relief
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 17 May 2004 No News Is Good News?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 17 May 2004 Star Trek VI - The Klingon Film!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 15 May 2004 The Plight Of The Bumble Bee
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 10 May 2004 Knee's Bust When The Devil Drives!
Repeat Offender! Lucy Watts 9 May 2004 I'll Have The Mussels!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 30April 2004 Administering A Good Shoeing ...
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 26April 2004 The Mad Hatter's Teeth Party?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 26April 2004 Asterisks? The Gall!
Repeat Offender! Lucinda Stevenson 24April 2004 Tom (Dick & Harry) Sawyer
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 24April 2004 Where There's A Wool There's A Wa-Hey!
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 17April 2004 File Jelly!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 16April 2004 Going Round The Bends
James Feltham 15April 2004 Not Lacking In Conviction?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 15April 2004 The Cracks Are Starting To Show!
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 5April 2004 Sham 'Poo Is Better Than (Blue) Nun!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 5April 2004 In Like A Lion Out Like A Lamb
Repeat Offender! Lucinda Stevenson 4April 2004 A Surprise In The OSSKA Nominations!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 3April 2004 A Sea Anenome Of The People?
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 30 March 2004 Like A Goth To A Flame
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 29 March 2004 Beware Of Sudden Growth Spurts!
Repeat Offender! Lucinda Stevenson 28 March 2004 The (Smokey) Lady's Not For Burning
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 26 March 2004 Massage In A Bottle
"Onanist!" 26 March 2004 A Senseless Waste Of Human Life
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 26 March 2004 A Little Snow On the Uptake!
Repeat Offender! Sue Neill 23 March 2004 Those Were The Days ...
Repeat Offender! Lucinda Stevenson 22 March 2004 Vile Jelly - Friend Of The Ems!!
Repeat Offender! Steve Collier 22 March 2004 Cornish Shrek-ers!
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 22 March 2004 Cometh The Hour Cometh The Man(x)
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 21 March 2004 Dial K For Krikkit!
Carole Broughton 19 March 2004 Every Picture Tells A Story
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 17 March 2004 Male Cow's Struck!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 16 March 2004 Open Wharf-are
Repeat Offender! Janet Bentley 15 March 2004 Temporarily Kept At Bey!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 15 March 2004 Work Rest And Prey
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 9 March 2004 We Happy Few ... !
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 8 March 2004 A Faith Worse Than Death!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 5 March 2004 77 (Or Seventies Hell?)
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 1 March 2004 The Jellysberk Address
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 1 March 2004 Dun Roman?
Repeat Offender! Gill Richards 1 March 2004 Doh! Rei? Me So Far
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 1 March 2004 A Bad (Day) Trip!
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 29 February 2004 Putting More Officers On The Beet
Repeat Offender! Helen Bristol 27 February 2004 Fiends Of The Earth!
Repeat Offender! Andrew Macdonald 27 February 2004 The Late Andrew Macdonald
Repeat Offender! Winwaloe 23 February 2004 Poles Apart